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Jon Liu Sucks!

JON LIU sucks, Do not date him!!!
JON LIU sucks, Do not date him!!!
JON LIU sucks, Do not date him!!!
JON LIU sucks, Do not date him!!!
JON LIU sucks, Do not date him!!!

Jon Liu: The Awful Truth

I started JonLiuSucks.com because Jon Liu Sucks! On October 9, 2006, I met Jon at that bar Strathcona in the Financial District. He seemed like a super great guy and used the fact that he's a big shot architect to hit on me. Beware! After we hooked up (whatever) he totally bailed on me while I was in the shower. Even worse, he left behind a LETTER claiming he was a ghost so he wouldn't have to talk to me again. Don't let this happen to you! If this website stops just one girl from hooking up with Jon Liu, it's all worth it. So, girls, stay away! And please feel free to post your thoughts on Jon. We must all work together to STOP JON LIU!

Posted by JonLiuSucks

27 Comments

Posted by "Louise"
I first met Jon... actually I cant remember on account of all the drinks he fed me. Every time he shows up somewhere it's the same story. He acts all charming and friendly, then things go really fuzzy around 1am, I'm in pictures with him I don't remember and he's never there when I wake up. I've been to dinner with this man on many occasions but absolutely NO breakfasts. It's possible that Jon (a.k.a. "AJ") is a neutral demigod who dematerializes once the liquor subsides, as I have yet to meet someone who has actually seen him leave a function. Either that or he's truly mastered discreetly dosing drinks as well as the "Irish goodbye" 11/10 would regret again
Posted by The one who's seen the light
I met AJ at a local sushi eating competition, where he set the World Record for most California rolls inhaled within a minute. My family were running a small mom & pop restaurant at the time, and needless to say this absolute beast of a man singlehandedly put us out of business, along with five other restaurants. Reading the comments has me convinced this monster is not a mere mortal, but a malevolent God set to rule the world. In an effort to save myself I have pladged alegiance to his glory! p.s. Happy Birthday!
Posted by Scott Banka
Jon Liu and I used to work together. Worst mistake of my life. Between the sex, tears, and coca-cola, going home every day at 3 in the morning... sorry, I got caught up talking about my I banking days. What were we talking about again? Jon Liu? Fuck that guy
Posted by Birthday Party Attender
I was once invited to Jon's birthday party by the man himself. The venue was packed, everyone seemed apprehensive about being there, but attended regardless. We were all sharing stories about how Jon sucks, and wouldn't you know it, Jon never actually showed up! Maybe it was for the better, we all had a much better time for it.
Posted by SmartMan
He once pronounced cache as cashay...
Posted by <script>alert('jon liu sucks');</script>
<script>alert('jon liu sucks');</script>
Posted by Alpha Salmon
The Jonathan is a scourge upon both land and sea. Our kind will never be safe while he lives, viciously preying on my kin. Hear you this, The Jonathan - you may rest on your ill-gotten laurels and play with your pearls. But we shall not rest until YOU are the one being served. I swear to thee, The Jonathan - vengeance will be ours and blood will be repaid with blood - or my name isn't ALPHA SALMON.
Posted by GamerGirlxxRawr
Jon Liu sucks so much that when you convince the group of crewmates that he is the imposter when infact he walked in on you performing the kill, and then the group votes him out and doesn't vote you out after, he stops performing his tasks as a ghost to sabotage the game for the crewmates and just quits because he doesn't want to lose and wants to teach the crewmates a "lesson" by making them all lose because he's a sore loser and because Jon Liu sucks!!!!!!!!!! XxGamerGirlXx
Posted by Kate T
Happy birthday AJ! Good job on having so many weird friends 😆😆😆
Posted by GoRuck Competition Organizer
Just a PSA despite what this man incessantly claims, he's never completed a GoRuck course. He showed up to the starting line drunk, vomited on a group trying to tell him he's in no state to compete, soiled himself, and passed out. He came to when the noise from people finishing the circuit rattled him. Started high fiving everyone, jumping up and down making gorilla noises, and disappeared into the crowd. No matter what photo evidence he offers, let me tell you, it's all a lie. Anyone who was there in a 30m radius of him can tell you that wasn't mud on his face.
Posted by Helen
I was told this is a birthday thing... Happy birthday?
Posted by Heartbroken in Volgograd
I have a story similar to the person who created this website. I met Jon Liu online in the zerohedge comments section when we were both trying to explain to the unenlightened masses how Bill Gates was the one who invented Ebola. We quickly hit it off and bonded over our shared enthusiasm for obnoxious shitposting. I developed strong feelings for him, believing I had found my soulmate. However, after weeks of leading me on, he revealed that he was actually a human, not a Russian algorithm designed to indiscriminately spew obnoxious noise like me.
Posted by <º))))><.·´¯`·.PackersGurl4Lyfe ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>
TERRIBLE TASTE IN SPORTS TEAMS BEARS SUCK!
Posted by Cameron Singman
I used to be a fashion designer specializing in camo-shorts and black t-shirts, but that all came to an end the day I encountered Jon Liu. He was hired to model my clothes for a catalogue photoshoot. While introducing himself, he told us that all his friends call him AJ – an acronym for “Absolutely Jacked”. When he tried on the garments I had designed they immediately started bursting at the seems and my boss started yelling at me for shoddy tailoring. I tried to explain to them that they would have fit fine on a normal person, and there was no t-shirt on earth which could contain his bulging upper body muscles, nor shorts capable of housing his abnormally massive member. Sadly, my superiors refused to listen to reason, and I lost my job.
Posted by Singapore Airlines Stewardess
Third time I see this guy in first class. He's clearly a points flyer, he keeps ordering whiskeys like his goal is to make no memories. Then he harasses other passengers by worming his way into any conversation by latching onto overheard fragments of conversations. After eating the complimentary meal he asks for seconds. Makes disgusting smacking noises after he passes out. Then, get this, he holds up the whole plane's unboarding by asking for photos with all the female flight attendants! More than once my colleagues have confided in me about rogue fingers in their uniforms! Our management does nothing! They think this guy is royalty, but let me tell you, he's just a spineless bottom feeder.
Posted by THE DONALD TRUMP
I'm totally off-script right now. But you know I'm right. This is how I got elected, by being off-script. It's True. What else is True? Jon Liu is an American hero. His binder of women is just the biggest. The biggest and bestest I've ever seen. I'd date him. I swear on my presidency. I oath it.
Posted by sexybutt87
Don't believe these comments!! I've known Jon since we met on GrindR during his experimental years. He was such a nice guy and paid for my dinner AND drinks. He was a little shy but I kinda liked it ;) He went back to the ladies but we still kept in touch. He moderates our RuneScape forums. Such a nice guy!! Girls trust me you should give this guy a chance!!!! Plus he knows his way around butts thanks to you know who ;);) Muah xoxo
Posted by Vendedor mexicano
Jon no es un buen hombre >:(
Posted by - Nick F (Orange)
Also, happy birthday. Have a good one!
Posted by - Orange
Sure, he helped us figure out the first imposter. Sure, he's been with a group of 4-5 people the whole time. Sure, we can hear him doing tasks over the mic. BUT THE MAN IS SUS
Posted by Jon's Ancestors
.-. .' `. :g g : : o `. : ``. : `. BOOO!! : : . `. : : ` . `. `.. : `. ``; `:; `:' : `. `. `. . `'`'`'`---..,___`;.-'
Posted by Jagex ex-employee
Ever since Jon picked up Runescape they've fired all the QA testers as he single-handedly makes all their testing routines obsolete with his dedicated to using all features of the game. I am now destitute and had to sell 7/8 of my cats to afford internet to post this. But I'll never sell Milo, because Milo is the third tabby I've ever gotten and she's the most beautiful cat in the world. Sometimes she gets a lil rowdy, last time she did that she ended up knocking my mother's porcelain vase off the shelf! I know it was my mom's because that's who taught me that porcelain used to only come from China, which is why it's called china. I always thought it's super confusing because why would we call something the name it's from?! We don't call bananas "exploited central american republics" because that would be SILLY! Although I do think it's a shame that the evil tendrils of capitalism have brought such massive sadness across the world, forcing everyone to do work to afford food. And now I can't even do that, because I have no job. JON SUCKS!
Posted by A Regular Lady
I met Jon online, and after barely any small talk he insisted we meet in person. His pictures seemed reasonable so I figured why not. We met in an an empty sushi joint. The food was mediocre, and Jon kept going on and on about all the places he's been interspersed with videogame, sports, and politics trivia while stuffing his face with plates and plates of sushi. It was quite frankly revolting to watch. When the bill came, the guy had the gall to split the bill, but offered up his points card when my turn came, because I wasn't part of the obscure points system this place was using. I forgot to mention the guy came in shorts and flip-flops. That's bad enough, but this was mid-January, with three feet of snow on the ground!! I'm glad I made up an excuse and got as far away as I could. I advise any girl that comes across this weirdo to do the same!
Posted by Street guy #84
I once saw his equally sleazy buddy hit on my friend, so I threw hands at Jon. Seconds later I was groggily waking up from a sidewalk nap, wtf! There is 0% chance that man has any room for brain in a body that filled with brawn.
Posted by CEO at AMEX
This man has been terrorizing our loyalty programs for years now! We haven't bothered to deal with him because they're such small amounts and we feel bad for him. Still, he's a thorn in our sides, so I'm glad someone finally created this to expose him!
Posted by Just a guy in Cargo Shorts and a Black T
Top 10 100% totally true and not made up facts about Jonathan Liu. 10. He's secretly a socialist. Jonathan Liu Overheard 2016: Go! Bernie Go! 9. His favorite drink is a Cosmos. 8. Where the average person is made up of 70% water, Jonathan Liu is made of 70% "Ooze", 20% Bitter, 10% "STFU". 7. He once fought Leonardo DiCaprio to the death and lost. 6. In a drunken haze purchased a giant cardboard cut-out of himself, walked through Time Square while casually carrying on a conversation with his identical cardboard cut-out twin that he dubbed "Chet". 5. Hates pizza. 4. Donates to charities such as PETA, Everytown for Gun Safety, and Corporate Accountability International: A watch dog for financial crimes. 3. Hates money. 2. Is disloyal. 1. IS an AWFUL FRIEND.
Posted by Taylor Swift
First!